Have you ever noticed how happy those who have “traded it all in” in order to live more simplified lives appear?
Have you ever wondered how these small space advocates have been able to give up their material possessions and find joy?
You might even find yourself feeling trapped by your “must haves” and feeling guilty because you cannot seem to be able to live without Great Grandma’s wedding China. You are looking for happiness, and while you know living simply would make you happy - remembering Grandma makes you happy too. What should you do?
Is it possible to “have stuff” AND “be happy”?
I say YES!
Initially I debated on whether I took this bookcase home with me however, as soon as I saw it in person, I knew exactly where it would go and made a confident decision about its placement.
FEELING STUCK?
Let’s say you feel trapped. Your finances are stuck, your job is stuck, your kids are stuck... even your car hasn’t changed in years!
As human beings we are odd and complicated creatures. We thrive when there is change - as long as it isn’t too much. For some reason when things don’t ever change we get weird, but when they change too much we cease to be able to function!
I remember hearing about a study where researchers ran an experiment to see how people responded to change by moving the main trash can which serviced a busy office space from one side of the room to the other. The researchers wanted to see how long it took for people to adapt to the new cans location.
Do you know it took that office space a little over two weeks (15 days!) to get used to the trash cans new location? It took the majority of that office fifteen full days to stop going to the old location to dispose of their trash, and we wonder why huge things like moving can be so unsettling!
We assume things like moving should be easy, and yet BAM we are left struggling during our major move just to remember how to make a cup of coffee, something we have done over a thousand times before.
Eventually the workers in the office adjusted to the trash cans new location and everything went "back to normal". Change alone doesn't make those who live in small spaces thrive - it helps, but it is something else entirely.
After the dust settles and a person has downsized or adjusted to their new environment, the honeymoon phase of change wears off and if you don’t continue to “change” in some aspect, you will soon find yourself in discontent.
HOW ABOUT MONEY?
Well Jessica, it must be about the cost savings. Just thinking about all the money we could save by downsizing makes me happy!
Yes, saving money and having a large nest egg is an important factor in life (no one is happy who lives above their means), but think about all of those unhappy millionaire and billionaires out there.
In Tony Robbins book "Money, Mastering the Game" Tony uses the example of a very unhappy rich man who loses his status as the richest man in the world then steps in front of a train. This man literally dropped just a few places on the Forbes list and because he was no longer in the number one spot, he commited suicide. What he didn't know was that the following week thanks to the market shifting - he would be right back on top in that coveted first place spot again had he waited it out.
No. Having more money in their account does not make the tenacious tiny house tenants thrive - as a matter of fact, human nature has proven over time the less work required to maintain a thing causes us to work less period causing our productivity to go down in general. Having more money helps, but that’s not what gets the ”happiness” job done either.
I decided to take these old bookshelves and paint them white to create a diving wall between our family room and dining room in our new larger space. This decision gave me the ability to have a place for keys and organize our mail.
CHANGE IS REQUIRED but isn’t as important as making frequent and confident decisions
Those happy little home dwellers who thrive in small spaces require something WAY MORE important than money or making a change to a more simplified life. Living small requires frequent and constant confident decision making, there is NO ROOM for delay when it comes to "should I do the dishes tonight?" when you only have two sets of dishes!
If you do not do those dishes, you won't be able to eat in the morning! The daily decision making process which small home living participants have committed themselves to promotes an unbelievable sense of joy and peace. There is no waffling to be found among those who commit to the process of living in a simplified and small space - they have no room for it!
Think about it like this, if you live in the kind of place where you have a single gallery wall (because your other four walls all have windows) and on that singular wall you have hung eight paintings - you’re all set. There is no room for more.
But what happens when your girlfriend takes you thrifting and while you are out looking at a new pot for your garden, an incredible painting catches your eye. If you live small, you are forced to make an immediate decision. Should you buy it, or leave it? If you choose to buy it, as soon as you get home you have to make your next decision - which painting do I get remove? The small space person does not have the luxury of being indecisive and buying another painting just for the heck of it.
The decision making process fueled by being FORCED to face your spacial limitations is really good for you. Making decisions PERIOD is really good for you. It may feel uncomfortable, you may feel stuck always having to say “no” to things - but at least you are making decisions, and those decisions boost your self esteem and build confidence.
It reminds me of an old parable where a rich man is said to give two of his employees both a small amount of money. One employee takes his money and decides immediately to invest it turning it into double what he was given - the other takes his money and hides it away because he can't decide on what to do with it. When asked by the rich man what the men did with their gifts, the one who caused his gift to grow was praised, while the other who was left in indecision was cursed. The rich man is recorded as saying, “Well done, you have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!”
The decisive employee was asked to join the rich man in his happiness - the happiness which truly successful people both BIG and small have found in their ability to make confident decisions.
YOU CAN BE HAPPY TOO!
I submit that our happiness first comes by making the decision to be happy.
Secondly, I submit our happiness is rooted in our ability to successfully become single minded, on purpose and on point. I believe not only can you have "things" but you can live happily with LOTS of things as long as you begin to create a home environment where making decisions becomes a part of your daily routine. Are there things in your life you have been putting off making decisions on? Are you concerned if you make a decision too many things will change so you are now in a state of decision paralysis?
Take heart my friend, as you begin to become more decisive and approach your daily decisions with boldness and confidence, these decision points will begin to add up causing you to become open to all of the good kinds of happy changes. The kind of happiness we see in pictures, the authentic happiness we feel deep down inside no matter how much "stuff" we have to have. ;)
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